anyways, here are the highlights of this month:
-finally delved into my j481 photo story, on the Sexton family. It's really nice taking pictures again, and this is one of the first stories I have done where I feel more like a friend and less like a strange photographer (though I still retain that strangeness, as Tim so kindly reminds me with each opening and closing of the shutter). :) Hospitality isn't just something done on the side with this family, it's a lifestyle...and natural one that seems to just flow and spill and spread out all over the place. I've really enjoyed picking Tim and Amie's brains...they have a heart for Jesus, a heart for kids, a heart for community-building and living "not safely." It's such a contrast to the way I was raised, and they retain an attractive selflessness that convicts and challenges and encourages me. I fell asleep on their couch last night after talking about parenting and growing up and how God will gut out your/my/our selfishness and provide for you/me/us and countless other things, like starting Christian communes (and that commune in Philly started by Shane something-or-other, a pastor with dreads. oh and they fed me pancakes this morning. :) below are some photos...trying to string together a storyline:
-had refreshing time with Jesus at the beach in South Carolina, which included a solo bike exploration across Hilton Head island and my Bible. I had several "gospel" moments, where He reminded me so firmly and gently that He loves me even though i don't have my act together! Ever since I started dating Mike, and even before (think: last spring) I've been wandering from the folds of God, and it's okay! Colossians 2 invokes us to remember how we received our salvation and continue in Christ in this same way. If I received Christ (rather, Christ reached me) when I was a loveless, angry, rebellious and clinically depressed teenager, I do not need to wait until I'm "healthy" or cured of all current restlessness, anxiety, and lovelessness in order to remain in Christ! He expects me to be a wanderer! He expects me to forget Him and to sin! And He loves me anyways! He loves me fiercely...do you know how loved I am???!!!! And He IS changing me; He has already begun the process of gutting out my heart and filling it with Christ. I am no longer defined by my lovelessness and my rebellion, even though I still struggle with sin, because Christ has adopted me and defined my by His family. Repent and believe, repent and believe. Jesus is my atoning sacrifice; there is therefore now no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
-watched Slumdog Millionaire. Go see it. Sponsor a kid from Mumbai. Then go dance to Jai Ho.
-started a new painting!!!!! I haven't painted since before I broke up with Mike, and for awhile I was scared that I let all of my artistic inspiration spring from and for him. Oh and I sold my first painting!
-crossed paths with old friends who were once very dear to my heart, and then we just sort of fell out of sync for a bit. I'm excited to see what God will do with these intersections.
-By God's grace, am starting to give up some of my desires to the Lord. As much as I want a photo job and to grow/utilize my gifts, I want to want Jesus more. The gift is not greater than the Giver; the photo job is not going to give me the satisfaction or security that only Jesus can give. God has been showing me how much I'm trying to make my home in this world; the truth is, though, that all of the deepest desires of my heart WILL be met in Heaven, and Jesus is already beginning to woo me! I may not ever feel "utilized" on earth, and God could very well cause me to lose my sight or to lose my hands, but He has a specific job for me and a specific role for me and a specific place for me in His House in the New Heavens!
-started wearing random second-hand clothing again. My mom bought me a bunch of nice clothes for Christmas, which I appreciate, but I missed throwing on headscarves and hole-y leggings and painted-smeared dresses. I know it's just clothes, but God made us visual people and He wants for us to express ourselves!
-read Water for Elephants and most of Travels with Charley in Search for America.
-slept outside under the stars and went in some rich person's backyard to watch a magnificent sunset in South Carolina that reminded me of Patagonia...gave me the same stirring in my heart that I forgot was there!
-ran out of rent money for may. God is putting lots of stumbling blocks in my place, for my good. He is disciplining me in my finances because he loves me...pray for patience and good stewardship...pray that I could look to Him to provide and do what I need to do to be faithful to His calling to love Him and love others (with my money). It's definitely an area of my life I need lots of growth in...managing time, money, gifts, etc., in a wise way that isn't selfish. At any rate, I think this means a closed door for the Galapagos...which is good! God is closing one door to open a better one, and to make me more like Jesus.
okay so this was kind of random. School starts again on Monday. It's my last six weeks as a student...ever. Holy Cow.
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